What's one of the top things I struggle with?

IT’S PUTTING MYSELF FIRST

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you taking wonderful care of you. I'm drinking Fresh Tracks Breakfast Tea this morning and thinking about putting myself first. Or at least not the absolute last. ;)

But first! A reminder that my FREE COMMUNITY CLASS is happening this Saturday! This one hour Yin Flow class starts with Yin to stretch and wake us up and then move into some flowing hatha for heat and movement. Click HERE to join!

Now back to the email...

Yesterday morning I was running out the door and my partner was in a zoom meeting. He was probably going to be there for hours, so before I took off I quickly made him a tea, a little bowl of trail mix, grabbed a banana and popped them all down in front of him so that he had some sustenance for the morning.

Hours later, I came home tired, a little crabby, and feeling low energy. I still had classes to teach so I needed to pep up. As I sat there asking myself what I needed to feel a bit better, I realized I hadn't really made time to eat. And I definitely hadn't been staying hydrated (classic for me). 

I do this all the time, if I'm honest. I'll make sure that the people around me are all set, and then I completely neglect myself. And I really don't like the message it sends.

By not taking care of myself the way I take care of other people, I'm essentially saying that I don't matter. Or at least I don't matter as much as everyone else. And the thing is, when I talk to some of my friends about this (usually the female identifying ones), many of them say that they do the exact same thing. That they struggle to put themselves first or they feel selfish if they do something just for them. And to be clear, the simple act of keeping yourself fed isn't a treat just for you. It's necessary so you don't collapse. 

I don't know if some of this ties into my many years of disordered eating and generally not feeling good about myself, but what I do know is that I really want to care for myself the way I care for other people. I want to show myself that I am loved...by me. Whether it's making sure I'm eating and drinking enough, or something more fancy like an afternoon high tea and a massage (yes, I have done these things back to back and I will again!), I want to make sure I'm factoring myself in. 

How you treat yourself matters. Not only does it set the tone for how you expect to be treated, but it's also wonderfully freeing to be kind and considerate to yourself. I don't know about you, but I spent far too many years telling myself I wasn't enough and I'm ready to be done with that. I'm also ready to see other women doing the same. Let's be a little more selfish, friends. Everyone else will survive. And more importantly, you are showing yourself that you are important. Because you are.

As always, I'd love to hear about it! Do you find it easy to care for others and not for yourself?  How are you planning to be a bit more selfish in your own life? Let me know in the comments below!

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

A reminder you probably need

YOU ARE ENOUGH

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you being good to yourself and your body. I'm drinking a matcha latte this morning and thinking about moving through life from a place of fullness.

My Fat+Happy Yoga classes kicked off this week (last chance to get in for Thursday Yin!) and I'm so happy to be back in class with new friends and beautiful familiar faces.

On the first day of class, we do introductions and have a little welcome chat. I often ask what people are hoping to get out of the class or what they like about yoga etc, but last night I decided to ask people what they are proud of. And you would have thought I asked people to strip naked while reciting the most embarrassing moment of their lives! 

We are so conditioned to focus on what we are lacking. To downplay our achievements or put ourselves down in the face of a compliment. Like when someone says "nice outfit!" and you immediately respond with "Oh, it's nothing. It was on sale. Actually, I pulled it out of a garbage can, don't look at me!" Or the much simpler response where you immediately rattle off all the ways that you are the worst and least accomplished person on the planet. I'm smiling as I write this, because I totally do it too.

But it's time to change the narrative. 

What if you took a few minutes each day to list the things that you are proud of? What if! You topped it off with a list of things you like about yourself? GASP! And what if you sprinkled it all with some compassion for anything you might be struggling with right now?

Well, my, my, my...you might find yourself feeling a little more full. You might notice that there is a little less space for criticism. You might even realize that you are, in fact, enough. 

And yes. You will still have wants and goals and dreams. There will still be so much to learn and ways to grow and mistakes to make along the way. But what would it feel like to move from a place of knowing you are enough, rather than from a place of lacking? To have a list of things that you are proud of to recite to yourself on the low days? You are allowed to remind yourself each day of your inherent worth and move from that place of fullness.

And the next time someone says something wonderful about you, you can simply say "Thank you. I know." 

As always, I'd love to hear about it! What are you proud of and how will you remind yourself each and every day that you are enough? Let me know in the comments below.

I am proud of the fact that this newsletter has now been coming at you weekly for TWO YEARS! It was a challenge I set for myself and I can't tell how good it feels to still be here sharing with you each and every week. There! I said it. And I only cringed the tiniest bit.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

tired of the constant grind?

BE LIKE A TREE. SHED YOUR LEAVES

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you asking yourself what you want to release as we head towards the Winter. I'm drinking Irish Breakfast Tea this morning and thinking about shedding my leaves and finding stillness. 

I'm currently looking out my window at the beautiful changing colours of Fall. And on this especially windy morning, I'm watching the leaves falling and being blown around as our tree gets ready for winter. It's beautiful.

The cycles of nature have so much to teach us and I'm reminded that while we are nature, we often resist the cycles and instead prefer to push and push and push until we are exhausted. 

In a season (at least on my side of the world) where nature is letting go and going inward, we are suddenly amping up for the holidays. This will be followed by the rush of New Year's resolutions and "getting back to it". Spring will find us amping up again for the lighter days and warmer weather. And then you guessed it, Summer finds pushing ourselves and getting outside to enjoy longer days and the hot weather.

Do you see the pattern here? There's no wind down. We don't allow space for slowing down, or being still and the very important shedding that comes in the cooler seasons. Where is the time for stillness and reflection? 

In our season of diving, I talked about the beauty of asking yourself what you want and what's important to you. I talked about asking yourself how you want to feel and how you want to honour your magical old crone self. None of this is possible without stillness and release. We can't make space for things to come in if we don't let go. If we are constantly pushing and reaching without nurturing the present, I feel like we're telling ourselves on some level that nothing will ever be enough. That we must always be chasing. 

Imagine yourself as a tree in the Fall, your beautiful leaves gently falling away so that you have the space, time and energy to go inward and rest. What might it look and feel like to replenish and prepare for what comes next? 

In the world as it is, it's so hard to slow all the way down, but I invite you to find a moment each day for stillness. This might be five minutes with your tea in the morning, walking your dog without your phone so that you can enjoy being outside, or simply sitting and taking three slow deep breaths with your eyes closed. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, imagine yourself as that strong and beautiful tree and gently let your leaves drift away as you make space and invite just a touch more ease and softness into your life. The more you do this, the more natural it will become.

I'd love to help you with this, so join one of my classes and give yourself 75 minutes of time and space to be present. We're going to have such a lovely time!

As always, I'd love to hear about it! How are you honouring the cycles of nature? Do you find it challenging to slow down, and how can you support yourself in shedding this season? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Want to be a holiday season rebel?

GO AHEAD…EAT THE TINY CANDY

Hello there! I hope this week finds you getting ready to trick, treat and subsequently steal some of your kids candy. I'm drinking my favourite brand of Earl Grey Tea this morning and thinking about this season of indulgence and guilt.

Happy Halloween, friends! It's that time of year where we indulge our playful side, get into costume and of course, eat all the tiny candies. This also tends to be the time that kicks off the mental fuckery that is food being around every corner. We have alllll the candy, followed by American Thanksgiving and then Christmas is waiting just around the corner after that.

We may begin to feel stressed financially and socially and then you add to that the anxiety around eating and it becomes quite miserable for many people.

So before November is officially here, I want you to slow down, take a breath and ask yourself what an easeful holiday season might look like for you. I know, I know! You have traditions and there are expectations and you don't want to offend Doris from work who loves to bring in her baking and then also talks about doing an office weight loss challenge in the new year. Doris is a menace, my friends! But the beauty of knowing what to expect is that you can pan out, take a look at the picture in front of you and see what you'd like to shift this year. One small step at a time.

For me, it starts with eating some tiny candy. A small rebellion after decades of agonizing over every calorie. I used to equate a tiny Twix (I freaking love a Twix!) with my weakness and failure. This tiny caramel cookie coated in chocolate held so much emotional turmoil when really, it's just a sweet little snack. Here and then gone with a nice cup of tea to wash it down. It doesn't need to hold more significance than that, or if it does, let it be the significance of you taking a step in the direction of your own space and mental freedom.

I am lucky enough to have met many of you who read this newsletter, and I promise you that you are a freaking glorious human who has way better things to do than stress about food and expectations around the holiday season. I know that if you allow yourself the space now to pause and plan, you will be so happy with the outcome and the freedom that you can offer yourself.

You are allowed to make new traditions. You are allowed to eat if it makes you feel good and say no when it doesn't. You are also allowed to say "hell no!" to resolutions that center around feeling bad about yourself and your body and you are definitely allowed to eat tiny candies. Enjoy them and then let it go. Let that be your first step in making this holiday season an easeful one.

And if you want my help, join me for NOURISH, my two hour holiday workshop on December 1st. This one is Yin and Restorative yoga, coupled with meditation, journaling and group discussion. It's going to be a most excellent way to care for yourself and your body as we roll into December.

As always, I'd love to hear about it! What is your favourite tiny candy and how will you embrace eating it as an act of rebellion? What does your dream holiday season look like and what steps can you take to get you headed in that wonderful direction? Let me know in the comments below!

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Let's get joyfully old!

BIG CRONE ENERGY

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you thinking about what a badass you want to be when you're in your eighties, nineties and beyond. I'm drinking Matcha Tea this morning and thinking about old crones who don't give a shit! 

I was recently doing a meditation and the teacher guided us to look into the future at our very old selves and consider what it might be like to be joyfully old. How that would feel and what we would need to embrace in order to invite that sense of joy.

I have to admit that I had never really considered it. I mean, my name is Helen and I already love to sit at home with a cup of tea while watching a British murder mystery. So I'm living that joyful eighty year old life right now! But when I really sat with the questions and thought about what appeals to me in ageing, it's often (at least for many of the women I've met) that sense of throwing the middle finger up at societal expectations and embracing what works for you.

As women, we live under a microscope in this world. We are expected to look and behave a certain way and any deviation from that is considered a failure. But here's the thing, after you hit a certain age, the microscope is slightly less interested in you. And while that can feel jarring and isolating, it can also be extremely freeing.You know that saying "dance like nobody's watching"? Well, since I turned 40, I generally feel like no one is watching so I can dance any freaking way I want to. I can try new things, I get hollered at less in the street, I'm wearing whatever the hell I want and I really really love it.

I want to carry that energy forward and rather than looking at getting older as a decline, I am asking "what else do I want to do?". I no longer want to be the princess in the fairy tale, I want to be the old witch in the forest. I mean, she owns her own home, she's killing it living by herself, she cackles constantly so we know she's having a great time. And she honestly doesn't give a shit that the townspeople don't want to hang out with her. She's got magic and she knows she's a badass. That amazing crone energy is where I want to be.

And so the question becomes, how can I be of service to that now? How can I live my life now in a way that my glorious old crone future self would applaud? Being less rigid is one thing that's come up for me. Letting go of things that don't make me happy is another. Moving my body more so that I'm limber enough to dance around my cauldron. Looking to other awesome older women for support and inspiration and spending time with my incredible friends who I know are going to be cackling around their own cottages. Lifting each other up and embracing time as it passes rather than scrambling for youth.

It is a privilege to age. And I know that it's also harrowing and it can be painful, but I'd rather aim for joy and mischief than sit around wishing I was still twenty. Old crones are awesome and I really want to be one when it's time. I'm already embracing a body that society loves to be angry with, so why not go the extra mile and get joyfully old just to add fuel to that fire? Whose with me? You're welcome at my cottage any time.

As always, I'd love to hear about it! What kind of joyful crone do you want to be and how can you live your life in service of that goal? What kind of mindset shifts need to happen for you to embrace ageing? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

I'm still learning the importance of...

BEING PRESENT AND FINDING BALANCE

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you being kind to yourself and your body. I'm drinking green tea with honey this morning and thinking about what it means to be growing and giving myself what I need.

But before we proceed...Fat+Happy Yoga is open for registration!! November/December classes are now open and I'd love to see you there! Get the details and register HERE!

Okay, back to the newsletter...

I got so many lovely responses to last week's newsletter! Apparently being overwhelmed and wishing the week away is not all that uncommon and it was so lovely to hear how you're planning to slow down and embrace your life a little more.

As for me, it would be so neat and tidy to come back to you with the update that I was present, grounded and appreciative all week long. But that would be a fib, so I'm here to share that my week was up, down and all around. Good thing I love to travel!

When I initially wrote last week's email, I was inspired to share because the sense of extreme stress I was feeling heading into the week was top of mind. Writing about it really helped, especially when I recognized that I had a week of joyful things ahead. And what that ultimately did was remind me to be present as often as possible. So just like I suggest in my yoga classes, when my mind wandered, I invited it back. If I found my mind straying too far ahead in the week, I would completely focus on what I was doing in the moment by saying (inwardly or out loud), "I'm here. And right now I'm folding laundry" or taking a shower or planning a class or drafting an email. Any time I would catch myself thinking ahead and starting to worry, this would immediately bring me back and ground me. I used it time and again and found it really helpful.

Outside of that, I kept coming back to the fact that everything I had on my schedule was there for fun and I was spending time with people I really care about. I had lots of laughs (it was a comedy filled week) and I really appreciated the moments we shared in rehearsal and on stage.

And finally and perhaps most important to include, I still stressed out. Definitely less than I usually do, but there was still stress and sometimes a touch of panic. There were a few tears and ultimately I cancelled one evening so that I could sit under a blanket and watch movies. I didn't participate in much beyond what I needed to do because I was at my limit.

It was an eye opening week and a great reminder that I can slow down and be in the moment any time I want to. It was also a really lovely reflection of how I've stretched my comfort zone in the past few years. 

One of the big things I'm taking away is that I sometimes schedule my life for who I'd like to be, rather than who I actually am. I love the idea of being someone who is always on the go and has plans every night and is still able to get up early and leap into the day. And who I actually am is someone who likes routine, a good amount of space, and to sit with a cup of tea in silence with nothing on the schedule at least one day a week. When I don't make space for that, my nervous system really lets me know it. So I'm working on that balance so that I have more of the enjoyment and less of the anxiety.

I really appreciate the chance to be here with all of you because I don't know that I would have taken the time to reflect last week otherwise. I probably would have wished it away and then been sorry that I wasn't enjoying it more. So thank you for being here and reading this. And I hope that you are reflecting on your own life and finding the balance you need to strike so that you can be present and engaged without feeling overwhelmed.

As always, I'd love to hear about it! How are you finding ways to be more present moment to moment? Have you ever noticed that you plan for the person you think you'd like to be, rather than the lovely person you already are? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Ever find yourself rushing through life?

GIVE YOURSELF SPACE

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you giving yourself the space to pause and reflect. I'm drinking my trusty Irish Breakfast Tea this morning and thinking about stepping back to look at the bigger picture. 

This week is a busy one for me. Lots of performances, work deadlines and classes kicking off again after being sick for a few weeks. A few days ago, I hopped onto my calendar to look at what was ahead of me and I started to stress out. I stressed about getting it all done the way I wanted to get it done, getting it done in a way that other people would be happy with, and getting it done with enough time to spare so that I could catch my breath. In the end, I found myself saying "I just need to get this week over with."

And then I paused. I sat back, took a breath (good old yoga training kicking in) and looked at the schedule again. Pretty much everything on there was something I love to do. I am lucky enough to have a life where I spend time teaching and performing and being inspired by amazing people along the way. I get to spend time sharing with and cultivating a community of people who want to connect peacefully with their bodies. And I cap it all off with extremely funny people who leave me doubled over with laughter. This is what I have worked hard for. So why was I wishing it away?

It's true that I am a homebody who loves to spend time in my comfort zone with a cup of tea and a good book. But somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that this was the primary part of my personality. But that simply isn't true. Because when I really give myself the space to look at my life, yoga, fat activism and comedy are also my comfort zone. They just show up a little differently and with a more buzzy energy. So it's time to change the narrative.

I have made a promise to myself. I am not going to look at this week as something to get through. I am going to embrace every moment (even the anxious ones) and thank my lucky stars that I get to live the kind of week that I used to only imagine for myself. I am going to be present and grateful, I am going to share and laugh, I am going to breathe and pace myself, and then I am going to end it all with a cup of tea and a good book.

I want to treat every day like the gift that it is and do my best not to rush through it. I will report back with the results next week. :)

As always, I'd love to hear about it! Do you ever find yourself wishing time away? Do you rush through things that you actually enjoy and then wish that you had slowed down? What's one thing you want to slow down for this week? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

It's Going to be Perfect...

…actually it isn’t and that’s okay

LOOSEN YOUR GRIP

Hello there and happy Tuesday! Did you sign up for my free community Yin class yet?? Come and spend a Saturday morning with me from the comfort of your home! 

Alright, back to tea time..

I hope this week finds you making space for imperfection. I'm drinking my Buckingham Palace Tea this morning and thinking about letting go of what I think it's supposed to look like and embracing what is.

I've been meditating more lately. It's something I always want to do because I'm more grounded when I'm meditating regularly. In fact, as I type this, I'm a few days away from completing a 40 day meditation practice. The last time I remember completing 40 days of meditation was for my teacher training program over a decade ago. I've had many stops and starts since then, but nothing has really stuck.

So what's different this time? Well, the long and the short of it is, I stopped expecting perfection. During previous attempts, I wanted to meditate every day at the same time, for the same duration in the same way. In fact, my ideal was to meditate twice a day at the same time for the same duration. It had to be silent meditation in a certain spot in my home while sitting a specific way. For someone with a fluctuating schedule who wasn't meditating very much to begin with, this was a big ask. 

I got really caught up in the all or nothing mentality. The voice in my head eerily similar to the voice that would yell at me to go on a diet and stick to it, that if something mattered to me I would do it regardless of whether it felt good or not. That's such a terrible and tight gripped way to approach life. No margin for error, no grace for an off day and no space for exploration. 

When I teach, I'm constantly reminding my students that there's no wrong way to show up. Simply arriving on their mat is enough and from there I ask them to loosen their grip around expectations and simply be with what is. Time to look in a mirror with that advice, Helen!

So that's what's changed. I stopped demanding that meditation look a certain way and asked myself what makes sense and what feels easeful at this time in my life. I've switched to guided meditations for the most part and my wandering mind appreciates the anchor. There's no specific length of time required and there's no correct way to sit. Sometimes I sit on a yoga prop, sometimes a chair or my couch. I've been under the weather recently, so meditating in bed has been lovely! I've meditated in the morning, the afternoon and a few times late at night. In short, nothing is as I had originally planned and that has set me free. I simply show up and see what happens. And if I miss a day, I know my ego will be growling. But I also know that my ego shouldn't be driving the bus and tomorrow I will show up and start again. 

As always, I'd love to hear about it! Where would loosening your grip serve you? What's something you desperately want more of but you make it so rigid and complicated that it's almost impossible to achieve it? Where do you simply need to show up and let go of the rest? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

P.S. If you want to get this delivered to your inbox every Tuesday, sign up HERE!

Dive Into Comfort

IT’S SWEATER SEASON!

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you pulling on your cutest Fall sweater and heading to your favourite cafe. I'm drinking Green Jasmine Tea this morning and thinking about wearing what makes me feel good.

Last weekend I dug some very cute jeans out of my closet and immediately wondered how I'd forgotten about them. They were so soft and had a decent amount of stretch, so I popped them on to run errands. An hour later with the jeans sliding down my ass and my shirt riding up over my belly, I completely remembered why I had shoved the jeans to the back of the closet. They didn't fit. Or at least, they weren't great when I was trying to do something insane like...move around or walk across the room!

I was so uncomfortable and all I could think was "I'm not walking around like this all day" And then it dawned on me. This is how I used to walk around all the time! I'd wear clothes that were ill fitting and uncomfortable because I had a hard time finding anything else. And honestly, I didn't think I deserved better. Shopping was a painful reminder that my body was a failure and I was obsessed with the number on the label. I'd rather go a size smaller and be uncomfortable than go up to the size that would actually look and feel better on me.

It was an interesting moment of reflection and it made me feel grateful to be in a place where I don't let my size dictate what I can or cannot wear. Shopping for clothing beyond a size 12 is a pain for sure and I do most of my shopping online. But I have had great joy in thinking about the outfits I used to imagine myself in when I'd lost the weight, and finding and wearing them in my size now. It's another way of reminding myself that I am worthy of feeling good. If you want some amazing inspo for this, check out Katie Sturino and her #supersizethelook campaign!

After the jeans debacle, I decided to go through my closet and I realized I had a bunch of clothes in there that I don't wear. I was especially shocked to find a few things that are too small, but I've been hanging onto them anyway. Something I used to do all the time. But honestly, styles will come and go and my body will change, so I'd rather make literal and figurative space for that. 

So I'm clearing out my closet and putting together a bag for the lovely folks over at the YVR Fat Clothing Swap. I love that we have a fat clothing swap in Vancouver and I'm honestly excited that other fat babes will get joy out of the clothes that have been sitting in the back of my closet. Even those damn jeans! They will fit someone like a glove and make them feel amazing! If you're in Vancouver, the swap is happening on October 15th and they are taking donations in advance.

At the end of the day, if you notice you are wearing something that doesn't make you feel good, ditch it! Style is a beautiful form of creative expression, so imagine your dream outfit and then supersize the look! Clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around. So dig into your closet, keep what makes you feel incredible and let go of the rest. You deserve to feel good this and every season!

As always, I'd love to hear about it! What is your relationship with clothes? What makes you feel amazing and how do you express yourself through fashion? What are you going to immediately donate in the name of setting yourself free? Let me know in the comments below!

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Don't know where to start? Ask yourself this!

A SIMPLE QUESTION WITH A BIG PAYOFF

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you looking at the parts of your life that make you feel great. I'm drinking Buckingham Palace Tea this morning and thinking about what I want more of.

Last week I invited you to look at each day as a blank canvas, and I hope you grabbed your paint and let your imagination run wild! I had so many lovely responses to that email, and I'm so happy that you are taking the time to see the possibilities that exist in each and every day.

I also heard (and I feel this too) that a blank canvas can be daunting as hell. I have moments where a wide open space feels liberating and at other times, I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the unknown and I just want to run back to the comfort of what I know.

So this one goes out to you, my friends who need a little help with where to start. Just because you can start each day as a brand new opportunity, that doesn't mean that every day is different. In fact, I think for many of us, routine is key. But what the blank canvas does is offer you the opportunity to pause, reflect on what you've been doing and then to ask yourself..."what do I want more of?"

Life isn't black and white and even if you're going through a heck of a time right now and you feel like you're nowhere near where you want to be, I guarantee you that there is something that is working. Something that makes you feel like you. Something you want more of.

For me, even in some of the worst times of my life, I've had some really good people by my side. I want more time with them. Trips to the tea shop are a simple but extremely happy thing for me. More of that please! Moments of kindness to myself and my body are always welcome and if I'm honest, this one has been a struggle lately. So I'll take more of that please! Laughter and comedy was something I drifted from for a while and I knew I wanted more, so now it's rare that you don't find me either performing or rehearsing with lovely people at least once a week.

In one paragraph, these things sound like a lot and they are. But I chose one thing at a time. When I was grieving my mothers unexpected death, the only thing I was capable of was a hot cup of tea in the morning. But I clung to that comfort until I had room to add something else. Slowly but surely the other things were added in and I'm so happy they are part of my life now. And I want to keep adding things. These days, I want more creativity, more writing, more play, more yoga and more time with the communities I love. So I'll pick one and get going in small steps. Painting my canvas with one little colour at a time. Stepping back and reflecting every day to make sure I'm going in the right direction for me.

Now it's your turn! Pause, close your eyes and think of your life now. Ask yourself what's working and what you want more of. Write it down and pick one thing to get you started. Paint your canvas with purpose and intention, inviting more of the things that make you feel like you. I promise there is already more good than you realize, so let's amplify it!

As always, I'd love to hear about it! What do you want more of? How will you invite this into your life every day? Let me know in the comments below

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

grab your paint!

EVERY DAY IS A BLANK CANVAS

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you asking yourself how you want to feel and where you want to go this Fall. I'm drinking my trusty Irish Breakfast Tea this morning and thinking about treating every day as a blank canvas and I'm loaded down with glorious paint.

I was recently chatting to a friend about how so many of us get caught up in patterns that don't necessarily make us happy. Life is busy. People need us. Capitalism is a bitch. And we're all doing our best as we still navigate a pandemic. So it makes absolute sense to put your head down and just keep going. But what happens when you finally look up and you find yourself somewhere much further away from where you actually want to be? 

I have experienced these moments many times over in my life. It's daunting and sometimes heartbreaking. But ultimately, it has been an eye opening experience that leads to inevitable shifts. Starting my own business came from realizing I would never grow in the way I wanted to if I remained in the yoga studio system. Getting on board with my body came from the pain of floating around in a space of constant judgement and cruelty towards myself. Moving to Vancouver came from the realization that even though I loved the community I had in Alberta, it wasn't taking me where I wanted to go.

Looking around and realizing you may have drifted far from where you want to be is normal. I want you to know that you don't have to stay there. And! You don't have to blow up your life either.

Every moment of every day offers you the space to make choices. What time you wake up, the first thing you do when you roll out of bed, who you see, what you eat, the route you take to work, how often you look at your phone and on and on.

Whether it feels like it or not, every day is a blank canvas for you to paint as you like. So take a moment to imagine your canvas as it is now and then ask yourself what you want it to look and feel like. Ask yourself how you want to feel and what you want to do with your precious time and energy. Who do you want to spend time with? What do you want to create? How do you want to show up for yourself and others?

Knowing how you want to feel and where you want to go is half the battle, so really sit with the questions above. And once you have your answers, decide on one small thing you can do each and every day to get yourself pointed in your happiest direction. It's important to keep this really simple. If you want to move more, move for 5 minutes each day. If you want to write, write fifty words a day. If you want to wake up earlier, wake up 15 minutes earlier rather than setting your alarm for 5am and then feeling like a failure when you drop kick it out the window when it goes off.

Remember that it likely took many tiny moments and decisions to bring you where you are now, and you can take many tiny moments and make small decisions to shift directions. Let yourself enjoy them and don't make it harder than it needs to be. Once you've mastered the first little thing, add another. And then another and another and suddenly you are painting the shit out of that canvas every day! You are the Michelangelo of your own life!

Every day is a blank canvas and a new opportunity to paint your world. So grab your favourite colors and get going!

As always, I'd love to hear about it! How are you painting your canvas? What did you learn when you asked yourself the questions in this email? What's one small step you can take now? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Take a deep breath

AND DIVE

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you embracing the shift into September in a way that feels good and exciting to you. I'm drinking Bukhial Assam this morning and thinking about how I want to dive into Fall.

I've spoken to so many of you who feel that September feels like the start of a new year, and I couldn't agree more. However, unlike the feeling of planning, optimism and excited goal setting we might carry into January, September can often feel like it's pulling or even dragging us.

Pulling us away from the Summer, from time off, time with our family, pulling us back to school or work. It doesn't necessarily feel like our choice and we wind up trying to grasp on to a lovely time that has already passed. 

Sometimes I imagine life is like a river, and when I'm fighting my reality, I imagine myself getting dragged along, bumping up against every rock along the way as I try to swim against the current. And then I ask myself what it might feel like to not only go with the current, but to actively dive into it. To move with its power and embrace what I might find there.

What might it feel like to release the Summer and look ahead to a new season? What might it feel like to actively dive in, rather than being dragged against your will? What would you embrace, what would you explore and how would you make this a season of excitement and exploration?

For me, I'm reconnecting with meditation and going inward as a way to honour the season. I'm also exploring movement and breath that invites more heat when I need it. And when I sit with the question of what feels good and exciting to me heading into this season, I imagine a routine that encourages my creativity and sense of play. I'm working on letting go of how I think things should be and opening myself up to what they need to be instead. I anticipate a lot of shedding, balanced with practices that connect me to my body and remind me that I am worthy of love, even when I feel the opposite is true. In short, I'm working on diving into the river, rather than being dragged and bumping along every rock as I go along.

Now it's your turn!

Pause. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. And then ask yourself what you want to move towards with purpose this season.

Is there something new you want to explore or something you want to reconnect with? How can you invite joyful purpose into this season? What do you need to shed in order to embrace everything you need this Fall? How would gently releasing and moving with the current be helpful to you? Taking the energy and mindfulness of basking in the Summer, allow yourself to sit with these questions and really listen to the answers with an open heart.

Let go of your perception of the season, good, bad or otherwise, and let this be a blank slate. You can paint it any way you want to. If you've been feeling stuck, now's the time to shift. Embrace change and see where you go.

And if you want to explore this in a deeper way, join me THIS FRIDAY for DIVE, a two hour workshop on embracing this wonderful season of change. Register HERE!

As always, I'd love to hear about it! How do you feel as the Fall rolls in and does the idea of diving excite or scare you? If you could paint your unique picture of joy, purpose and play this Fall, what would that look like? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Missing Summer Already?

NO PROBLEM! TAKE IT WITH YOU

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this finds you completely relaxed from an entire month of basking. I'm drinking a Gingia Assam this morning and thinking about taking the lessons of Summer with me.

It's the last week of August. And while your mind may already be on getting back to school or work as Fall rolls in, I'd like you to consider how you might take the lessons of Summer with you.

Outside of enjoying the warmer months and longer days, we often look at Summer as a time to relax and play, which is why it can feel hard when the season starts to change and we have to get "back to reality".

But what if you added more of that Summer energy to your day to day reality? What if you invited basking, pleasure and play to the other seasons of the year?

If you enjoy the heat, how might you add a little heat to your Fall? Maybe it's a more fiery yoga practice or a dance class. Maybe you book a Sunny vacation or a sauna session. 

If you enjoy the element of basking, how can you slow down and find balance in a season that often gets busy? Meditation is a great way to do this or perhaps taking an extra long savasana at the end of a yoga class. You might start a bedtime routine where you take a bath, read a book or simply put on your favourite sheets and bask in how good they feel. Another great way to bask day to day is to do things more mindfully, meaning you invite yourself to be present for each task, even the mundane ones. I've recently switched out my podcasts for ambient music when I cook or do things around the house. I still love my podcasts, but I find it's easier on my often wandering mind to simply focus on one thing at a time. I feel more present and calm, which are a few of the energies of Summer that I love.

And for my friends who want more play in their lives, I invite you to get out in nature and play with the shift in season. Or perhaps you jump into a class you've been wanting to take. Trying something new can be daunting, but so playful as well. Do something just for fun and watch your creative energy surge.

As adults, we are often told that growing up means being serious and letting go of the energy that we had when we were kids. I couldn't disagree more! I think we owe it to ourselves to invite that childlike Summer energy in everyday. This is especially important for my friends who struggle in the colder months of the year. 

So start planning now. Grab a notebook and write down what you love about Summer and how you are planning to take it with you this Fall.

As always, I'd love to hear about it! What is your favourite part of Summer? How are you going to invite that in this Fall and what are you most excited about? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Berries and soft serve and pie. oh my!

BASK IN THE TASTE OF SUMMER

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you reading this newsletter from the comfort of a lounge chair or beach blanket. I'm drinking Bukhial Assam this morning and thinking about the joy of Summer foods!

Last week I invited you to celebrate and bask in your body. And this week is a very important extension of that. Because this week (drumroll please!) I want you to bask in the joy of food!

If you have now or have previously had a challenging relationship with food, you are not alone. It's almost impossible to live in this day and age without getting caught under the thumb of diet culture. Even more so when you live in a big body. In a big body, eating almost anything is seen as a failure or a lack of willpower or care for yourself. When I was young, I trained myself to very rarely eat in public and if I did, I would try to eat less than my smaller friends. I would also skip dessert and then buy candy bars on the way home. It all felt so shameful. And even after all these years and all my hard work, I'm still learning how to eat out in the world. My partner and I sometimes like to get a slice of pizza and sit at a lovely viewpoint, and I can get a little squirmy assuming that people are thinking "of course she's sitting down and eating pizza rather than sprinting up this trail like she should be."

The reality is that while some people may have those kinds of thoughts, most people really don't care what I'm getting up to. And even if they did, that's none of my business. I love having a little snack while hanging out with my guy and looking at a beautiful view. So I keep doing it! 

And even more importantly, the act of doing it anyway has made those squirmy moments few and far between. Because for the most part, I have healed my relationship with food. I think food is magic. And reconnecting with it has been one of the great joys on my journey towards body acceptance. No longer hiding or counting every little thing I put into my mouth has been incredibly freeing. It's also allowed me to reconnect with the food I love.

In the Summer, basking in food includes fresh berries, soft serve ice cream, pie from a little market on the side of the road when we take a road trip up North, and corn on the freaking cob!! I also love fresh Summer produce (heirloom tomatoes, anyone?) and a late night burger after doing a comedy show. This Summer, I have been chasing the Disco Biscuits donut bike around the sea wall when I want a sweet treat. And by chasing, I mean I find out where they are and send my partner on his bike. :)

What about you? Do you love a picnic in the park, a barbeque with your friends or sitting on the outdoor patio of your favourite restaurant? No matter what it is, I invite you to really savour the joy, pleasure and connection that can come from a delicious meal or snack. You are allowed to enjoy your food. You are allowed to feel pleasure and freedom when you eat. There's no shame in loving your food! So take a moment to think about your favourite Summer foods and then plan to have at least one of them this week. 

Will you gather your people and make it a group hang, or do you imagine yourself berry picking and eating fresh berries before making jam or pie afterwards? Are you excited to take a picnic to the park or put on something cute and go for high tea? Or maybe you love heading to the farmers market, grabbing a cup of coffee and finding your favourite produce so that you can cook yourself a delicious meal. 

There's no wrong way to do it. Find what lights you up and follow that. I'm here if you need moral support and I'm sending you tons of love if this is hard for you. It was hard for me too at first. Baby steps. You got this!

As always, I'd love to hear about it! How are you basking in the joy of food this Summer? What are your favourite recipes, restaurants and Summer produce? What foods light you up? Let me know in the comments below!

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Quick! Grab a cupcake and a Cone Hat!

YOUR BODY DESERVES A CELEBRATION

Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you thinking of how amazing your body is. I'm drinking my favourite chai in the city this morning and thinking about all the ways I want to love and celebrate my body.

As we roll into the middle of this month of basking, lazing, lolling, sunbathing, floating and anything else that makes you feel like you are soaking it all in, I hope you will take the time to bask in your body.

And before you start to run through the list of things you feel you need to change, I want to remind you that sinking into and celebrating your body, does not require that you love every little thing about it. Think about the people you love most fiercely in your life. Those people you would do anything for and who you would celebrate every day of the week if you could. I guarantee you none of them are perfect and you don't expect them to be. Same goes for your body. I want you to get to a place where you love it fiercely and celebrate it often.

For many years, I only saw my body as a disappointment. Something I needed to change in order to fit in and be loveable. The idea of celebrating it without it being what society wanted it to be was inconceivable to me. But as the years have passed and my intentions and perspectives have changed, I now absolutely want to celebrate every inch of my body, even on the days when I'm not so happy in it.

I celebrate it with delicious food, with walks in nature, especially taking my shoes off in the grass or on the sand. I celebrate it by moving in ways that make me happy and wearing clothes that fit comfortably and reflect my style and mood in each moment. I celebrate it with massage and extra long sleep-ins, and also by hopping on stage without hiding or trying to shrink myself. I celebrate with lovely smelling creams and gentle self touch. I celebrate it with sex. I thank it often and I look at myself in the mirror naked every single day, without shame. 

No, I don't love everything about my body. But I am fiercely protective of it and I know it deserves my respect. I can't control what other people think or how they react to me, but I can give my body all the love and respect I withheld for so long. And hell yeah, I can give it a party! 

I often hear people talk about listing all the things your body does for you as a way of connecting to and celebrating it. And while I agree this can be lovely if it calls to you, I will also say that you don't need to do that to feel worthy of celebrating. Your body doesn't have to do anything. You can celebrate it because it exists and it's part of you. Fat, thin, young, old, differently abled, sick, well, aching, tired or full of energy. You can and should celebrate it all. 

So take a moment, preferably with a cup of tea in hand and think about what feels fun and luxurious to you. How do you want to bask in the wonder of your body? Make a list, pop it somewhere you can see it, and then see how many amazing things you can check off this month.

As always, I'd love to hear about it! How are you celebrating your body? What does it feel like to invite in that fierce love and let go of constant judgement? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Slow All The Way Down And Explore

THE MAGIC OF REST

Hello there! I hope this week finds you reading this newsletter from a reclined position. Whether you're enjoying a lazy Summer break or taking a cheeky personal day, remember that you deserve rest! I'm drinking Irish Breakfast tea this morning and thinking about how I used to believe that being anything less than extremely busy was a failure.

We're still basking over here at Fat+Happy headquarters (aka: my living room) as I've been off from teaching for one week. And even though I'm still working on projects and planning for Fall (did you sign up yet??), I'm really encouraging myself to work at a gentle pace and to take breaks and prioritize rest as much as possible.

I'm not going to lie, this isn't easy for me. And it's not that I don't love a good sit down or lie down, because I absolutely do! It's that I often can't get into a relaxed state because I'm thinking about what I "should" be doing, especially since I run my own business and there's always something to work on. 

When I first moved to Vancouver, I almost immediately had three jobs on top of running around town auditioning and looking for an agent. I was very proud of my hustle, and I loved to brag that I could be out until 3 or 4am and get up at 8. Oh my god, even typing that makes me want a nap! And while there's so much about those years I wouldn't change for anything, I would love to go back and tell myself that there's absolutely nothing wrong with getting a good night's sleep and maybe only having two jobs. That I didn't need to feel guilty taking time to simply be still or enjoy doing nothing.

Guilt is such a tricky monster, but I have learned that it's hard to know what you want and need if you never slow down to ask. So I'm slowing down and continuing to explore our theme of basking this month. Not only as a way to check in and ask myself how I'm doing, but also to simply enjoy being. Sometimes it looks like a lazy stroll or a guided meditation and sometimes it's watching cozy British murder mysteries with a cup of tea and a cookie next to me. Yes, the guilt still pops up from time to time, but I know that I really want a life that has ample time for slowing down, so I'm having one dammit! 

So now it's your turn! How's your month of basking going so far? How are you honouring rest and space when you need it? Do you take time away from screens and allow yourself to simply be? You deserve the space to rest, reflect and slow all the way down.

And if you need a little help, I've got you covered with a new meditation for sunbathing over on the Patreon. Grab your headphones and your beach blanket and I'll see you there! 

As always, I'd love to hear about it! What is your relationship with rest and how do you prioritize it in your life? What's your favourite way to slow down and how do you feel afterwards? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Ready To Enjoy August? Me Too!

BASK IN IT

Hello there! It's the first of August and I hope this week finds you looking at the month ahead as an opportunity to bask in all of the wonderful work you've been doing. I'm drinking a matcha latte this morning and thinking about the importance of celebrating our wins.

Last week I invited you to make a list of all the things you like about yourself, and to share with your friends the things you like about yourselves and each other. I hope this was a fun exercise that you will turn into a daily habit. We so often think of healthy habits as these huge and sometimes daunting undertakings. But what an amazing thing to make a habit of being nice to yourself each and every day of your life. I for one, am in!

And in the name of exploring easeful and pleasurable habits, the month of August is all about BASKING in our wins! If you are a member of the Patreon, you're getting a video this week where I go into more detail on this theme and how you might apply it to your life. Whoop!

I love hearing from so many of you that you're out there doing the hard work of being kinder to yourselves and kinder in the world. I also know that many of you are working on your relationship with your body, your right to pleasure and play, and you've been exploring and applying our themes from June and July. Themes of reclaiming Summer, reclaiming yourself, setting boundaries and expanding into the space you take up.

This is such valuable and hard work. I know your successes are hard won. So before we dive into growing even more this Fall, I want you to reflect on how far you've come, give yourself a big internal high five and then let yourself bask in the wonder that is you. 

If you're struggling to picture what basking might look like for you, some beautiful words associated with bask are: laze, lie, lounge, relax, sprawl, loll (I love this one!), sunbathe, warm oneself, revel, luxuriate, wallow, delight, take pleasure, rejoice, glory, indulge oneself, enjoy, relish, savor, lap up, get a kick out of, get a thrill out of...you get the beautiful indulgent picture!

Read those again slowly. Notice how you feel in your body with each word. Which ones jump out at you? There are almost enough there for a word each day this month, so why not let yourself play? You might lie on the beach or in a park and reflect on where you are now and how cool it is that you made it this far and are continuing to grow. You might take yourself on a date to celebrate your hard work and remind yourself that you are worth it. You could head to the pool or the ocean and float, basking in the sun and nature. There's really no wrong way to do this. You might take five minutes a day and that's great! It's all about what feels good to you.

I really do believe that taking the time to celebrate our wins and bask in where we are now is not only a great way to recharge and be present, but it's also extremely helpful in inspiring us to keep going. 

I'm really excited for this month and I hope you are too. Now pat yourself on the back, grab a cup of tea and start thinking on how this month can be one of basking.

As always, I'd love to hear about it! How are you planning to bask in your own glory this month? Which words jumped out at you most and how are you going to apply them? Let me know in the comments below!

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

It's About To Get Uncomfortable!

LET’S TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT YOU ARE!

Hello there! I hope this week finds you reminding yourself that you are amazing! I'm drinking Irish Breakfast tea this morning and thinking about the things I like about myself.

I recently saw a friend of mine and as I walked up to them in the restaurant, I said "you look great!" and their response was "I know, right?". And it weirdly gave me pause. I thought it was strange that they were agreeing with me. But they did look great, so why did it feel strange to me?

When I was growing up, it was considered socially unacceptable or strange to say things you liked about yourself. People who had good things to say about themselves were considered full of themselves or "big headed'. I'm smiling as I write this because I remember the meaningful glances people would give each other when someone in the room was talking about themselves in a positive way.

So why do we feel weird about it? Why when someone tells us that we look great do we respond with things like "Oh, you're kind. I haven't slept in a week!" or "Oh, this old dress? I've had it forever." or even "No YOU look great! I'm a garbage person who just crawled out of the sewers". Okay, the last one was for dramatic effect, but you take my point.

Why does it feel like we are breaking a social contract when we pump ourselves up? Because...we kind of are. In my experience, it is easier and more comfortable to say what you feel you need to work on or to point out where you are lacking. Like it or not, it's a way that we bond, especially as women. It's comforting to realize that we are not alone in our struggles or in feeling some kind of way about our appearance. We also don't want to appear like we think we are better than other people.

But here's the thing! We are all great. Yes, YOU ARE GREAT! So why not acknowledge and even celebrate it? I'm inviting you to flip the script and the next time someone says something great about you or compliments you, I want you to agree with them! We need to start training ourselves and each other to celebrate the things we like about ourselves. Because there will always be things we want to work on, but it's important to know that you are enough as you are. And it's so wonderful to sit with yourself and say "here are the things I like about myself" and then list them off. 

And the next time you're hanging out with your friends, why not go around the group and each list something you like about yourselves? I guarantee that even though it might feel awkward at first, it will ultimately feel so good and you will cheer each other on! You could even circle around again and say something you like about each other. How uplifting!

If this resonates with you, grab a cup of tea and journal and list everything you like about yourself. Set a ten minute timer so that you don't give up after five seconds. Really sit with yourself and I guarantee there will be more than you think. Have fun with it and begin to celebrate wonderful you!

As always, I'd love to hear about it! Have you historically struggled with saying positive things about yourself? Have you found it easier to say what you don't like or what you need to work on? I'd also love to hear what you like about yourself and how it feels to pump yourself up. Let me know in the comments below!

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Tired of Putting Yourself Last?

TREAT YOURSELF LIKE THE WORTHY HUMAN YOU ARE

Hello there! I hope this week finds you reminding yourself that you are allowed to put yourself first. I'm drinking Malty Breakfast Assam this morning and thinking about how putting myself before others makes me feel very selfish. And then frustrated. And then angry. And then guilty. And then...you get the point.

I was recently making some scheduling plans for late Summer, and I kept bumping against what I wanted to do and what I felt I should do. I would think about what I wanted and needed, and my body would give me a "hell yes!" feeling, and then I would almost immediately backtrack and start thinking about how this might affect other people.

Yes, I could take the time I need for me. BUT! If I just pushed myself to do this little thing and that little project, then these other people would be happy. And I love making people happy. So much so that I will allow my own needs to fall right to the bottom of the pile. And over time I start to resent those people I made happy, thinking "well, well, well....must be nice to be you! You must be thrilled that you're getting what you want while I'm over here depleted and now a husk of my former self!". Yeah. Grumpy depleted Helen is also incredibly dramatic. 

The funny thing is that nine times out of ten, nobody asked me to go above and beyond or to abandon my own plans. They simply asked me to do something that I could easily have said no to. These lovely people are in their own world with no idea that I'm stewing at home, slowly becoming a super villain, forged in the fires of doing more than I was asked and then being pissed about it.

So I've recently been asking myself why I do this. Why do I go beyond what I'm able to do and then feel resentful? Yes, I really do like to support people and collaborate and help out where I can, but I can do that without putting my needs last. Ultimately, I discovered that while I feel like other people deserve rest and support and space, I feel terribly guilty when I take it for myself. Because I don't believe I'm worthy of it. Ooph! After a decade of working on loving myself and yelling at you to love yourselves, this is a hard pill to swallow.

So the challenge I'm now setting myself is carving out time anyway. Allowing myself the space that I need and saying no to things that will overextend me. I know the guilt will creep in, but I also know that when I do say yes to things, it will be with my whole heart. In short, I'm not waiting to feel worthy, I am going to show myself that I am worthy by giving myself and my body what I need. 

If this is something you struggle with, then I challenge you to sit with yourself (obviously have a lovely cup of tea in hand) and ask yourself when and why you don't allow yourself to come first. Why you feel that everyone else matters more than you. This is an uncomfortable conversation, especially for women who are pretty much taught that we are here to serve others. But you deserve to dig in and get to know what makes you tick. 

When you allow yourself to be worthy and to put yourself first, you are even better when it's time to show up for others. And more importantly, you learn how to show up for you. 

As always, I'd love to hear about it! Is putting yourself first something you have struggled with? How do you move past it and remind yourself that you are worthy of being a priority? Let me know in the comments below.

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo

Seven Little Words to Transform Your Life

SHOW ME HOW GOOD IT CAN GET

Hello there! I hope this week finds you reminding yourself that you can always be on the lookout for the good stuff in life. I'm drinking Irish Breakfast tea (one of the very good things in my life) and thinking about how I want to expand.

This month over on the Fat+Happy Patreon, the theme is EXPANSION. Ever since I stopped desperately trying to shrink my body, I'm obsessed with what it means to expand. My body has expanded, not just in terms of size, but also in the way I hold myself. I love to spread out when I sit and I walk so much more confidently than I used to. I'm not hiding from the space I take up.

I've spent the past decade asking myself what's possible in the body I have, rather than an imagined version of myself. I'm also asking myself what expansion looks like as a woman in her forties, fifties and beyond. These questions were tentative at first and sometimes colored by the fat phobia and ageism I'd picked up over the years (always a treat to unpack those things!). But as I continue to ask, the process gets easier and the answers get more exciting.

As a result, some of the things I've done and didn't think were possible include teaching yoga, leading teacher trainings, filming, performing, taking classes, traveling solo, wearing a bikini in public, creating a podcast, cooking, saying no, napping joyfully, skinny dipping, flying in a float plane, kayaking, making new friends, hiking, and writing regularly...specifically this weekly newsletter. 

I used to tell myself that I needed to look a certain way and probably be younger, but all that did was shrink my world. When I began asking "what if?", the possibilities got bigger and bigger and suddenly "what if?" became "why not?!".

So ask yourself "what if?', or better yet, stand up right now and shout "SHOW ME HOW GOOD IT CAN GET!". This fantastic phrase came from my wonderful friend and podcast co-host, Stephanie Archer. In one of our episodes, I asked her if she had a mantra or catch phrase, and this is what she shared. I've started using it in my own life, especially when I'm saying no to myself or talking myself out of something I really want to try. Instead of listing all the reasons it might not work or how I'll probably hate it, I say "show me how good it can get!". 

And while I can't ultimately control the outcome, I'm so down for this more expansive and joyful approach. I believe that your life should expand over time, and asking yourself how good it can get every single day is a great place to start!

As always, I'd love to hear about it! How are you expanding? What does it feel like to let go of societal limits and give yourself permission to grow and explore? Do you have a mantra that kick-starts your day? Let me know in the comments below!

As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.

Much love,
Helen xo