…actually it isn’t and that’s okay
LOOSEN YOUR GRIP
Hello there and happy Tuesday! Did you sign up for my free community Yin class yet?? Come and spend a Saturday morning with me from the comfort of your home!
Alright, back to tea time..
I hope this week finds you making space for imperfection. I'm drinking my Buckingham Palace Tea this morning and thinking about letting go of what I think it's supposed to look like and embracing what is.
I've been meditating more lately. It's something I always want to do because I'm more grounded when I'm meditating regularly. In fact, as I type this, I'm a few days away from completing a 40 day meditation practice. The last time I remember completing 40 days of meditation was for my teacher training program over a decade ago. I've had many stops and starts since then, but nothing has really stuck.
So what's different this time? Well, the long and the short of it is, I stopped expecting perfection. During previous attempts, I wanted to meditate every day at the same time, for the same duration in the same way. In fact, my ideal was to meditate twice a day at the same time for the same duration. It had to be silent meditation in a certain spot in my home while sitting a specific way. For someone with a fluctuating schedule who wasn't meditating very much to begin with, this was a big ask.
I got really caught up in the all or nothing mentality. The voice in my head eerily similar to the voice that would yell at me to go on a diet and stick to it, that if something mattered to me I would do it regardless of whether it felt good or not. That's such a terrible and tight gripped way to approach life. No margin for error, no grace for an off day and no space for exploration.
When I teach, I'm constantly reminding my students that there's no wrong way to show up. Simply arriving on their mat is enough and from there I ask them to loosen their grip around expectations and simply be with what is. Time to look in a mirror with that advice, Helen!
So that's what's changed. I stopped demanding that meditation look a certain way and asked myself what makes sense and what feels easeful at this time in my life. I've switched to guided meditations for the most part and my wandering mind appreciates the anchor. There's no specific length of time required and there's no correct way to sit. Sometimes I sit on a yoga prop, sometimes a chair or my couch. I've been under the weather recently, so meditating in bed has been lovely! I've meditated in the morning, the afternoon and a few times late at night. In short, nothing is as I had originally planned and that has set me free. I simply show up and see what happens. And if I miss a day, I know my ego will be growling. But I also know that my ego shouldn't be driving the bus and tomorrow I will show up and start again.
As always, I'd love to hear about it! Where would loosening your grip serve you? What's something you desperately want more of but you make it so rigid and complicated that it's almost impossible to achieve it? Where do you simply need to show up and let go of the rest? Let me know in the comments below.
As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo
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