AND INTO YOUR POWER
Hello there! I hope this email finds you skipping through a field of tulips..unless you have allergies. I'm sipping Golden Milk this morning (it's not even tea!) and feeling very excited to answer a question sent in by one of my lovely readers!
The question is "How did you come to work for yourself and begin to create a life living on your own terms?"
First of all, this question makes me feel so much cooler than I am and it also feels like perfect timing! In class this week we've been talking about what it is we either want to claim or reclaim for ourselves. There's been a lot of discussion about claiming our own power, boundaries, careers and taking up space. And working for myself has become a part of that for me though I was very reluctant to do it, if I'm honest.
I never wanted to run my own business. For a long time, I wanted to be an actor, where people tell you whether or not you are allowed to be part of a project. And then as I moved into the world of yoga, I really wanted to teach at studios I loved and possibly do some admin and eventually become a part of the teacher training programs.
I'm a great worker bee and I'm happy to work hard and be a team player (this sounds like a classic job interview answer, lol). I also have a keen desire to get ahead and succeed. And in my experience, these two things don't necessarily go together. As hard of a worker as I am and as much as I have towed the line in my life, I was still consistently being told no. No to acting jobs or even to getting an agent. No to a raise at my day jobs. No to moving to another part of a company. No to teaching additional yoga classes, even when my current classes were at capacity. Though I did once get the great offer to teach more classes if I would take a lower rate for each one (that was a fun head scratcher). I felt like I was spinning in circles and never getting ahead.
It was all very frustrating, to say the least. And it really made me question my value. I mean, I've seen a ton of eighties movies where you work hard and climb to the top while Eye of the Tiger plays in the background, and I wanted my movie montage, dammit! But every time I reached, I felt like I was getting slapped down.
I hit a point where as cheesy as it might sound, I said "well, if everyone else is saying no to me, then I'll say yes to myself!". I already had a lovely student following (you know who you are and thank you, thank you, thank you!) and I had years of doing admin for other people, so I just took those skills and did it for myself. I started by renting space to teach and initially working part time on the side until eventually (it took a good few years) things built up and I could work just for me.
It's hard work and I still ponder a second job sometimes (turns out all those work from home ads where you're on your laptop for one minute a day and on your yacht for the rest of it are bullshit), but it does feel truly lovely to know that I'm doing something I really love and I've built it myself. I'm not politely asking someone to let me move ahead. I decide. I am living on my own terms and while it's not always easy, I am really proud of it.
I'm also incredibly proud of and inspired by the many many amazing women and femmes in my life who are doing the same. Working at jobs that have meaning for them, saying no to things that don't work for them, raising families in the way they want to, running their own businesses, creating work that will soon allow them to give up their day jobs and on and on. It's all incredibly cool and helps to carry me forward when I'm feeling low on eighties music montage energy.
So yeah! That's my answer. It's not flashy (sorry to break it to you about the yacht situation) but it feels incredibly satisfying to me and I think we all deserve to feel a sense of deep satisfaction every day. What that will look like for you is unique but I'd love to hear about it if you want to share.
As always, as you move through your week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo
