BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND ;)
Hello there! I hope this week finds you dusting off your Spring/Summer wardrobe. And if you find that your body has changed since last year, I hope you are allowing yourself the space and kindness to find some new things that make you feel lovely! I'm sipping Assam Tea this morning and thinking about the way we treat ourselves.
"Feed yourself like you would feed a friend". I heard this on the new season of Rebel Eaters Club last week and I can't stop thinking about it.
It's easy to be kind to the people we love, but if you are struggling in your relationship with yourself and/or your body, treating yourself with that same kindness can feel much more complicated. So much of the messaging that we receive day in and day out centres around the pursuit of perfection, agelessness, thinness and whiteness. It's exhausting being surrounded by the idea that you are not enough and you can't be enough unless you push and push and buy this or that. There is this sense of endless reaching, with no time to simply be. To sit with who you are and to know your value.
For so much of my life, I felt like my value was based on my appearance. I still have moments where I feel invisible and it sucks. However, those moments are fleeting and very human. Nothing like years ago when I was obsessed with how to be enough. I don't think I knew who I was, but I knew who people wanted me to be. And because it was so hard and required so much restriction for me to get remotely close to that, I lost sight of how to be kind to myself.
If you have been there or are there now, I know it can feel like there is no way to turn it around. But a fantastic place to start is to look to how you treat the people you love. How do you speak to them, hold space for them, feed them, love them? In those moments where you catch yourself being hard or cruel to yourself, take a step back and ask yourself how you would treat your best friend in the same situation. It can be jarring to realize how hard we are on ourselves sometimes. I have also found that the more you explore this, the easier it comes and eventually you won't need to step back any more. It'll be natural. This has been a practice over many years for me, so have patience. There's no rush. You're already on your way if you're reading this.
Here's what I want you to know. You are valuable and you deserve to live a full and happy life, exactly as you are. How much time might you free up if you let go of judging yourself by other people's ridiculous standards? What kind of amazing things could you do with that extra time? What would it feel like to sit with yourself every day and ask yourself who you are and what is wonderful about you? It might feel a bit cringey at first, but make that list like you were making it about a friend you love...and eventually it will be. I KNOOOOOW! So cheesy, but very helpful nonetheless.
Feed yourself like you would feed a friend. I promise it will make a difference!
As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo