FIVE MORE MINUTES :)
Hello there! I hope this week finds you making space for yourself and the things that bring a sense of balance to your life. I'm sipping strong black tea this morning (all the way from London!) and thinking about time and patience...and I'm already irritated. :)
Last week I was getting ready to go out and I was suddenly hit with some really old thought patterns. I hated all my clothes. I hated my body in the clothes. I started to imagine myself being compared to all my beautiful friends and being found lacking. I imagined running into people who last saw me years ago when I was much smaller and what they might think of me now. Nothing like picking a fight with friends from your past who probably have more to worry about than what you look like fifteen years later. :)
These feelings are echoes of a different time in my life and it was really surprising to feel them surge with such force. My therapist pointed out that these things take more time than we think and we simply need to allow space for all the feelings as they come up. We also need to respect that it's normal for things to come in waves even years later. Yes, even when we are doing the work to move through it the patterns can show up and the emotions can still feel fresh. So wise. So annoying.
In a world that can't wait to sell us a quick fix, we are not wired for patience or even for grace within ourselves when we need more time. Time to process and move through something, time to work on a project or to achieve a goal, time to learn something or get to know someone. Time to ask ourselves what we want and to really listen for the answers. Time to just be.
It's uncomfortable to acknowledge that some things take as long as they need to. It's even more uncomfortable to be present for that reality. That's why there are so many ways in which we distract, delude or disassociate ourselves when things aren't moving along in the way we might like them to. We are much more complicated physically and emotionally than these overnight promises can ever truly address.
What might it be like to simply trust that you are doing the work you need to do, and to allow time to do the rest? To know that the waves will still come, but with less frequency and intensity. It takes as long as it takes. Be patient and kind with yourself. Let go of the quick fix and slow it all down. You are worth the time and energy of all your emotions, dreams, goals and experiences.
And as you move through your week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo
