THE PURSUIT OF PLEASURE OVER PUNISHMENT
Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you seeking pleasure in every corner of your life. I'm drinking Jasmine Green tea this morning and thinking about how the pursuit of pleasure over punishment has changed my life.
But first! My Fat+Happy May classes are open for registration! Click HERE for the schedule and to join a class now!
It's the final week of classes over here at Fat+Happy Yoga, and nine times out of ten, my theme on the last day is "celebration!". It's so very on the nose, but I don't think we can ever celebrate too much, and committing to a weekly practice is no small thing. It's an especially big deal when that practice asks you to potentially reframe your entire relationship to movement.
This week, I'm asking my students to commit to pleasure over punishment. And the moment I say the words, I see a strong reaction on people's faces. There's a widening of the eyes, usually followed by a knowing nod or a sheepish smile. Because if you've ever moved your body because someone taught you to hate it, then you weren't there for a good time. You were there to punish yourself. Possibly even spending good money while looking for answers from some jacked up trainer who was screaming at you. Yeah, same! Been there. Didn't love it. Don't want to do it again.
In all my years of disordered eating and intense exercise, I never once thought of pleasure as a goal. The goal was to shrink and become more acceptable to the world at large, which I hoped would then make me acceptable to myself.
But here's the thing. When you spend day after day in that space of punishment and treating yourself and your body like you don't deserve to feel good, then you are simply training yourself and your brain to operate from a perspective where you are never enough. Not thin enough, flexible enough, fast enough, young enough and on and on and on.
And what's absolutely maddening to me, because it took me so many decades to figure it out, is that pleasure is right there. It's RIGHT THERE! It's there when you opt for movement practices you enjoy with teachers who respect and celebrate you. It's there in choosing relationships where people love you without condition. It's there in delicious food that you don't need to measure or count because you are allowed to simply eat. It's there in the inner dialogue that tells you that you are a damn wonder of a human and you deserve to pursue the things that bring you ease and softness and yes, pleasure!
It took me many years to open my eyes to the fact that I didn't need to punish myself. Yes, my body was and is big. So what?! Yes, I hate cardio and you could offer me a million dollars to run a marathon and I would offer you two million to go away. Who cares?! Because at the end of the day it's my life and my body and when I was punishing it day in and day out, it ultimately wasn't for my health or physical appearance. It was in the hopes of finding peace.
And while I still struggle from time to time, I'm much happier in the pursuit of pleasure over punishment. Of letting myself exist and experiencing the things that make me feel happy and expansive. It's where I have found the peace I was so desperately looking for. And I really want that for you too.
In fact! I want it so much that I think we should chat about it! On Thursday May 9th, I'm hosting my very first Fat+Happy Community Chat! In this one hour zoom, I will share how I got started on my journey to loving and accepting my body and I'm going to offer some insight on how you can get started too! So bring yourself, your questions and your tea (of course!), and I can't wait to talk to you. It's by donation so there's really no reason to miss it, right? Right! Register now!
As always, I'd love to hear about it! Have you been approaching movement from a place of punishment? Do you feel like pleasure needs to be reserved for some future version of yourself? And where would you most like to inject more pleasure in your life? Let me know in the comments below.
As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo
