HELL YES!
Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you stocking up on sunscreen and air conditioners before it gets too toasty out there. I'm sipping Earl Grey tea this morning and thinking about how I never knew I could be fat AND happy. What a time!
If you have grown up in this society (especially if you identify as a woman), then you know what it is to be objectified and judged at every turn. We can't get it right and they don't want us to get it right (we know that "they" is the patriarchy, right?).
Add to this being in a big body, then you have really let everyone (old white dudes) down. You are constantly reminded and receiving messages that your body is a failure and your life is doomed to be a sad and unhappy one. That your value is connected to what your body looks like.
I remember as a teen telling my Mom that I sometimes felt happier asleep because I would dream that I was in a smaller body. Gah, I wish I could squeeze teen Helen. Fast forward to my early twenties where I had lost a bunch of weight. Was I flattered and pleased by the general response? Yes, it felt amazing! Was I any more at home in my body? Absolutely not. Was I happy in my body? Nope. I was in a state of anxiety and control. A constant fear that people would see my weight fluctuate and judge me for being weak. I wasn't myself.
And while I fully believe that we are not defined by our bodies, we can definitely be in a state where we are living to control them in the name of making other people comfortable.
So the question is, can you be happy in your body as it is today, regardless of your size? Abso-freaking-lutely you can! You can decide that what you need and want is the most important thing. You can remind yourself that all bodies are good bodies. You can let go of diet culture bullshit. You can let go of what you "should" do and run headlong towards what you want to do. You can wear the thing, take the class, eat the food, plan the trip, have the sex, write the book, start the business, audition for the part, go on the date, read the smut (you Torn Bodice fans know I had to take it there!) and on and on and on.
Your life is not defined by your body. You do not have to love your body to have a happy life. You can simply ask yourself what living means to you.
You don't need anyone's approval but your own. And the more you do this, the more you let go of the things and the people who tell you otherwise. The more you move towards daily pleasure and a bone deep happiness that can only come from within.
I have never felt this grounded and in the flow of the things that make me happy in my life. And young Helen only thought that was possible in a young skinny body or in her literal dreams. So happy to prove myself wrong on that one. ;)
So pause here. Breathe deep and ask yourself what living a full and happy life means TO YOU. Not what others think it should mean, but what it actually means for you in your soul. Sit quietly and wait for the answers. You deserve to know. And you deserve to live it.
In the pursuit of my full and happy life, I'm cooking up something very exciting that I'll be sharing soon. As my work has shifted and expanded, what I want to offer going forward is expanding too. I can't wait to share it with you!
Sending you so much love for the week ahead and as always, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo
