Hello there and happy almost Spring! I hope this finds you planning a little getaway, whether it's a day trip, a hike or a weekend away. It's so nice to have something to look forward to, regardless of how big or small. I'm drinking Breakfast Tracks tea this morning and thinking about the many roads to pleasure.
I denied myself pleasure for a very long time. I wasn't by any means a miserable person, but I think I was just very cautious and hyper aware of people looking at me or judging me. I hid myself and prevented myself from participating in a lot of things because it wasn't worth the potential teasing. I was so deeply fearful of other people's opinions that even after I lost a bunch of weight in my twenties, I still found myself being incredibly restrained and looking to others for approval. I was so afraid to put a foot wrong or gain a pound back that I still wasn't living my life. So...the question becomes when? If I wasn't living it fat and I wasn't living it not fat, then what the hell was I doing?
Short answer? Living for other people's approval. Damn!
I think as womxn we are often taught that we are here to please others. To serve and to support and to look a certain way while doing it. We're not taught to ask for what we want, what pleases us and what makes us feel powerful. I would go as far as to say that we are taught to be afraid of our own pleasure.
But if you pause for a moment and think about the word pleasure, what does it bring up for you? When you think of the things that bring you pleasure, where do you feel that in your body? What are the sensations?
For me, it's expansive and warm and I feel softer and I notice I've been smiling as I typed out the above question. I'm also a Taurus and if you know anything about astrology, you know the bull loves pleasure and decadence...and so do I. :)
Over the next few weeks and many cups of tea (a daily pleasure), I'm going to share some of the ways that I am reclaiming pleasure and I hope something jumps out for you or kick starts your desire to move towards your own pleasure. There are many ways to get there and yours will be unique to you.
Next week, I'll be talking about reclaiming pleasure in movement. A big one for me. And if you're feeling ready to talk on a deeper level about pleasure, check out Homebody. We are kicking off our monthly series in April and it'll be four months of deep diving into pleasure. Whoop!
Until then, you might take some time to make a list of the things that bring you pleasure, or things you want to explore.
As always, as you move through your week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo