LET YOURSELF EVOLVE
Hello there! I hope this week finds you reminding yourself that you are always evolving. I'm drinking a matcha latte this morning and thinking about how I used to ache to be my younger, thinner self.
I was just listening to this episode of The Ten Percent Happier podcast, and the guest was sharing how she used to be a marathon runner and has since struggled with lyme disease, chronic fatigue and has also had a baby. Her life has shifted in huge ways and sometimes she laments the person who used to run every day, without fail. The host talked about wishing he was in the same kind of shape he was in twenty years ago, and this made me think about how my Dad often tells me he wants to get back to the weight he was over thirty years ago. THIRTY. YEEEEEARS!
I am not immune to this longing. I spent years wishing and scrambling to get back to the body I had in my early twenties. I sometimes lament how I was more social back then. I used to go out most nights dancing, to the pub or to watch live theatre. I even pop on those rose colored glasses and miss the very bad dates and hungover mornings. It can be nice to look back, but not if it's making you reject the person you are now.
Because no matter how much time you spend looking over your shoulder, you are inevitably moving forward. You are different today than you were yesterday, let alone ten, twenty or thirty years ago. Yes, you can examine the qualities you admired in yourself (last week's newsletter was all about that), but how those qualities will show up today is likely very different. And that's a good thing. Because guess what? You've grown! You know more, you've experienced things and you've lived your life for more years on this planet.
When I miss being thinner and younger, I ultimately miss feeling like people were pleased with me (damn the patriarchy!) and like my entire life was ahead of me. My Dad misses being someone who went jogging over the mountain behind our house every night after work. He misses the discipline, the challenge and the bragging rights. Totally fair!
I think rather than judging who we are now, the question we can ask is "how can I invite that feeling in now?", "What would that look like at this stage of my life?", and more importantly "do I actually want that thing now?". I know for a fact that I don't want to be insane about food and exercise. I also love staying in and being cozy at home. I've changed and that's a good thing. And I resent that I still want people to be pleased with me sometimes, so I'm working on giving less shits, to be honest. And when I look at things that way, I like who I am and who I'm working on becoming.
We are all evolving. So what do you want to evolve into? Look forward, ask yourself how you want to feel and what you want to experience at this stage of your life. If you are reading this, then you are alive and it is not too late to change if that's what you want. You cannot go back. So move forward with an open heart and see where that takes you.
As always, I'd love to hear about it! Do you ever lament who you were many years ago and does it affect how you see yourself now? What are you looking forward to and how have you evolved already? What are you celebrating about this phase of your life? Respond in the comments and let me know.
As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo
