EAT, DRINK, AND FU*K DIET CULTURE
Hello there and happy Tuesday! I hope this week finds you enjoying good food, the people you love, and letting go of the intense food struggle that can happen over the holidays. I'm drinking earl grey tea (and eating a shortbread cookie for good measure) this morning and thinking about the freedom of being kind to myself and giving myself space around food.
This topic is not a new one in this newsletter, and it will certainly come back time and again, especially during the holiday season. We are into the last few weeks of the year where, if you are anything like me, you have previously spent it white knuckling your way through the holidays trying (and usually failing) to avoid delicious and nostalgic foods, and then sitting around on new years eve making a loooooong list of flaws and telling yourself that you will (nay, you MUST) do better next year. "Doing better" for me, usually meant being thinner and more pleasing to everyone around me. I imagined myself floating through holiday parties the following year, everyone staring in awe at how wonderful I looked while I declined any and all foods while softly whispering...yes, apparently thin me is a delicate whisperer..."oh. no thank you. I only eat blades of grass now. Small ones." And then I would smile and float away into the night like a glorious, tiny mirage.
I don't know why I thought thinness would also include an entire personality transplant, but it was the dream I had every time the new year rolled around. And when I reflect on it now, I was really looking for acceptance. I felt that if people were going to judge me for my body either way, I wanted them to judge it positively. But that is a losing game, friends. People will always have something to say or judge. Sometimes it's to do with you and more often than not, it's their own insecurities. Either way, you and your body deserve to be treated with love, respect and kindness. And that starts with you.
You spend all of your time with yourself, inside your own lovely head and glorious body. So you'd better make it a warm and kind place to be. If this is a new concept, that is absolutely okay! It was new to me too. You can start by thinking of one small thing you appreciate about your body. Or, you can simply decide that you are going to be a little nicer to yourself. That's how it started for me. I couldn't think of much to appreciate, so I worked on catching the shitty thoughts as they came up and then turning them away at the door. It was alarming how many were rolling in every day. It was as normal as breathing. But over time, it became less natural and finding small kindnesses became easier.
Doing this tiny practice every day turned out to be incredibly potent over time. And I realized that the problem wasn't me or my love of glorious holiday foods, it was diet culture and the way it makes us hate ourselves so that we have to forever be on the search for self improvement. It was also snide friends (no longer friends, thank you!) and family members who always had a comment or dig about my appearance. My new years dream didn't need to be me becoming so tiny that I could float away into the night, it was that all these total ass holes I was hanging out with who needed to float away and maybe fall off the edge of the earth. Okay, fine. They didn't need to fall off the edge of the earth, but I'm certainly not inviting them to any more holiday parties.
You are not the problem. Your body is not a problem to be fixed. Please allow yourself the freedom to enjoy the season as you like. Let yourself feel good, eat food, have rest, see good friends and repeat.
And as you roll to the end of the year, make a list of the things you want to let go of next year.
I chose to let go of the idea that I wasn't loveable in the body I was living in. I let go of trying to be someone who does not love love LOVE holiday treats because I really do! I let go of hating myself and wishing I was someone else. And I have to tell you, it's been the best thing I have ever done.
I want 2024 to spell freedom for you and your absolutely magical body. So get started, one small step at a time. I'm right here with you, cheering you on.
As always, I'd love to hear about it! What do you love to eat this season? How is reframing or ditching new year's resolutions going to set you free? Let me know in the comments below.
As you move through this week, remember to treat yourself and your body with love, respect and kindness.
Much love,
Helen xo
